Read book Doug Mayer - Make Congress Your Bitch : 50 Ways to Finally Make Your Congressman Serve! in EPUB, DJV
9781449426156 English 1449426158 Fed up with Congress? It's Time to Get Even ! Feeling like you'd trust your local used car salesman more than your member of Congress? You're not alone! Democrats and Republicans everywhere are sick and tired of our "Do-Nothing-Congress." Are you ready to get even… in a radically different way? Great! Because we've got the solution. It's time to Make Congress Your Bitch . In 50 wildly disrespectful and irreverent scenes, our Congressman are forced into performing a variety of tasks around the home that are guaranteed to bring even the largest of political egos to their knees. Literally. Congress is back in session. But it's not quite what they expected: Toilet backed up and it's the third time today? No problem. You've got a Congressman to get in there and tackle the job. Dog won't bring in your newspaper from the street? No problem. Now you've got a Congressman who knows how to fetch (on all fours, no less). Feel like having breakfast served to you in bed this morning? No problem. You don't need a butler; you've got a Congressman! Because Congress is the opposite of Progress , we think it's high time to Make Congress Your Bitch ! No Congressmen were harmed in the making of this book. (They were just humiliated.), Question: What has Congress done for you lately? Answer: Absolutely nothing. It's time to make Congress your bitch! Bitch (n.): a modern-day servant; a person who performs tasks for another, usually degrading in nature. [Urban Dictionary] Congress consistently garners about the same rating as used car salesmen from Democrats and Republicans alike, and Make Congress Your Bitch gives us all the cathartic experience we've been longing for. Here are 50 ways, each with photo illustration, you can make Congressmen really contribute to your life until all 535 of them are finally useful. For example: [Our Congressman is surrounded by stacks of papers, printouts, and receipts] Since you created such a nice, simple tax system, this should be a snap for you, right? Fill out the long-form 1040, and Schedules A through F. And don't forget those new accelerated deprecation schedules you cooked up last year! According to your estimates, those forms will only take an hour and ten minutes--so that'll give you plenty of time to wax and detail my car when you're done. [Our Congressmen join a line-up of day laborers looking for work.] I just don't have any other jobs for you guys today. But the economy's improving, right? Just be patient--something's bound to come along. [Our Congressman is wearing lipstick and holding other samples.] What do you think? "Sexy Sienna" or "Pretty Pink"? Let's try the "Pretty Pink" one more time, and I'll post a photo of you on Facebook, and we can get a bunch of other opinions., Tapping into Americans' collective disgust with politics in general, this riotously funny book describes in hilarious text and photos all the ways we can get some real use out of politicians by making Congressmen our "bitches." Fed up with Congress? It's Time to "Get Even" Feeling like you'd trust your local used car salesman more than your member of Congress? You're not alone Democrats and Republicans everywhere are sick and tired of our "Do-Nothing-Congress." Are you ready to get even... in a "radically" different way? Great Because we've got the solution. It's time to "Make Congress Your Bitch." In 50 wildly disrespectful and irreverent scenes, our Congressman are forced into performing a variety of tasks around the home that are guaranteed to bring even the largest of political egos to their knees. Literally. Congress is back in session. But it's not quite what they expected: "Toilet backed up and it's the third time today? No problem." "You've got a Congressman to get in there and tackle the job. " "Dog won't bring in your newspaper from the street? No problem. Now you've got a Congressman who knows how to fetch (on all fours, no less). " "Feel like having breakfast served to you in bed this morning? No problem. You don't need a butler; you've got a Congressman " Because "Congress" is the opposite of "Progress," we think it's high time to "Make Congress Your Bitch" No Congressmen were harmed in the making of this book. (They were just humiliated.)
9781449426156 English 1449426158 Fed up with Congress? It's Time to Get Even ! Feeling like you'd trust your local used car salesman more than your member of Congress? You're not alone! Democrats and Republicans everywhere are sick and tired of our "Do-Nothing-Congress." Are you ready to get even… in a radically different way? Great! Because we've got the solution. It's time to Make Congress Your Bitch . In 50 wildly disrespectful and irreverent scenes, our Congressman are forced into performing a variety of tasks around the home that are guaranteed to bring even the largest of political egos to their knees. Literally. Congress is back in session. But it's not quite what they expected: Toilet backed up and it's the third time today? No problem. You've got a Congressman to get in there and tackle the job. Dog won't bring in your newspaper from the street? No problem. Now you've got a Congressman who knows how to fetch (on all fours, no less). Feel like having breakfast served to you in bed this morning? No problem. You don't need a butler; you've got a Congressman! Because Congress is the opposite of Progress , we think it's high time to Make Congress Your Bitch ! No Congressmen were harmed in the making of this book. (They were just humiliated.), Question: What has Congress done for you lately? Answer: Absolutely nothing. It's time to make Congress your bitch! Bitch (n.): a modern-day servant; a person who performs tasks for another, usually degrading in nature. [Urban Dictionary] Congress consistently garners about the same rating as used car salesmen from Democrats and Republicans alike, and Make Congress Your Bitch gives us all the cathartic experience we've been longing for. Here are 50 ways, each with photo illustration, you can make Congressmen really contribute to your life until all 535 of them are finally useful. For example: [Our Congressman is surrounded by stacks of papers, printouts, and receipts] Since you created such a nice, simple tax system, this should be a snap for you, right? Fill out the long-form 1040, and Schedules A through F. And don't forget those new accelerated deprecation schedules you cooked up last year! According to your estimates, those forms will only take an hour and ten minutes--so that'll give you plenty of time to wax and detail my car when you're done. [Our Congressmen join a line-up of day laborers looking for work.] I just don't have any other jobs for you guys today. But the economy's improving, right? Just be patient--something's bound to come along. [Our Congressman is wearing lipstick and holding other samples.] What do you think? "Sexy Sienna" or "Pretty Pink"? Let's try the "Pretty Pink" one more time, and I'll post a photo of you on Facebook, and we can get a bunch of other opinions., Tapping into Americans' collective disgust with politics in general, this riotously funny book describes in hilarious text and photos all the ways we can get some real use out of politicians by making Congressmen our "bitches." Fed up with Congress? It's Time to "Get Even" Feeling like you'd trust your local used car salesman more than your member of Congress? You're not alone Democrats and Republicans everywhere are sick and tired of our "Do-Nothing-Congress." Are you ready to get even... in a "radically" different way? Great Because we've got the solution. It's time to "Make Congress Your Bitch." In 50 wildly disrespectful and irreverent scenes, our Congressman are forced into performing a variety of tasks around the home that are guaranteed to bring even the largest of political egos to their knees. Literally. Congress is back in session. But it's not quite what they expected: "Toilet backed up and it's the third time today? No problem." "You've got a Congressman to get in there and tackle the job. " "Dog won't bring in your newspaper from the street? No problem. Now you've got a Congressman who knows how to fetch (on all fours, no less). " "Feel like having breakfast served to you in bed this morning? No problem. You don't need a butler; you've got a Congressman " Because "Congress" is the opposite of "Progress," we think it's high time to "Make Congress Your Bitch" No Congressmen were harmed in the making of this book. (They were just humiliated.)